


Moving Forward

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Dan POV, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinda weird thoughts idk, M/M, coffee shop AU, something different
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3499679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time stands still. It seems like he's sleepwalking sometimes. That is, until he meets a stranger in a coffee shop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving Forward

**Author's Note:**

> Ayyyy hello people! So I've finally figured out how to use this platform (lol im so proud of myself) ^^ Anyways, I hope you like this <333

It feels like time is slowly moving backwards sometimes. To Dan it does, at least. He just stands there in the middle of a crowd, watching everyone move forward, one step at a time. He watches them talk on their phones to their boss, and laugh at their kids or their parents.

It’s a lonely existence.

The only time he steps forwards is when he goes to a little coffee shop on Down Street. Time seems to stand still in there. There are no busy people or happy ones, just the bored cashier and him.

He likes it there. It’s untouched.

When he has to leave there are no friendly goodbyes or smiles. Just him and the people outside, walking and talking and laughing while he goes back to his flat.

Time moves backwards there too. Everything in it reminds him of his childhood, the innocence and ignorance of thinking his life would be perfect. He always laughs at that. And he cries, his heart aching to go back, when everything was okay and could be fixed with a kiss.

He wants to tear them apart, all the photos and the letters his mum sent him, but he can never bring himself to do it.

He has to keep them alive, even if they’re not.

He doesn’t know why he does it really. He just likes to torture himself with memories of things and people he can’t have. He relives them over and over and over again until he’s almost sick of his mum’s smile.

Almost.

Nights are the worst. He hates the dark and he hates his thoughts and he hates himself, but above all he hates being alone. He hates having no one to tuck him in at night and kiss his forehead and tell him everything’s going to be okay. He tells himself it’s because no one likes him.

He knows it’s because he’s moving backwards when everyone else moves forwards.

That’s why he keeps going to that little coffee shop, even if their coffee tastes like shit. He can at least pretend to feel normal there, even if he does watch the crowd outside move and move and move.

He wants to be a part of them.

There was one time he almost did. When he was standing outside leaning against a street light and there was a stranger who was sitting alone, reading a book and he suddenly looked up, boring into him with fucking electric blue eyes like he knew what Dan was thinking.

That was the most alive he had felt in years. It was pathetic really, because it only lasted a few seconds before the stranger looked back at his book, disinterested in Dan and moving forward, turning the page to look at a new one.

It wasn’t a page Dan would be on.

Now, even though he wouldn’t admit it to himself, he looked for the blue-eyed, book-reading, knowing stranger every time he walked to the coffee shop and back.

He didn’t see him again, which totally didn’t bother Dan at all.

But even today, when Dan told himself he wasn’t going to look for him again, he found himself looking around for him. It was to no avail, however, because the stranger had moved forward and he hadn’t.

It hurt, but he chose to ignore it because he didn’t even know the guy.

So when he sat down with his usual order, looking out through the window, he hadn’t expected a voice to fucking ask if this seat was taken. And he also hadn’t expected to see those eyes looking at him again like he was the most interesting thing in the world.

He breathed out a no, making sure to look back at the window and definitely not looking at the stranger’s reflection because he hadn’t been fantasising about him for a month.

He hadn’t.

"Strange isn’t it?" the stranger spoke. "How everyone seems to move forward? It’s almost like you don’t move with them sometimes."

Dan gulped and stared at the stranger with wide eyes because he did not just fucking say that. That was his secret, his thoughts, his world. But the stranger knew. He knew, like he had pierced Dan’s head with his eyes.

"Sorry, I probably seem really rude right now don’t I?" the stranger trailed off, scratching the back off his head.

"There’s no need to apologise," Dan replied, his throat feeling dry because the stranger knew and he didn’t want to fuck this up. "I’m Dan. What’s your name?"

The stranger blushed, staring at Dan’s extended hand like he didn’t believe Dan was offering him it.

"Phil. Phil Lester," he murmured.

Phil grabbed his hand and shook it. His palm felt nice against Dan’s, soft and warm and inviting. Phil pulled on it a bit, tugging Dan slightly forward.

And just like that, Dan felt like he was moving again.

**Author's Note:**

> this was also posted on my [tumblr](http://ninchuser.tumblr.com)


End file.
